Rachel Aubry: 2023 National Poetry Month

April is National Poetry Month! Project Sleep is proud to highlight poets and poetry from our community throughout the month of April. Curated by Ana Lara.

Rachel Aubry is a 21-year-old artist, poet, and overall creative person. She received her narcolepsy diagnosis during her junior year of high school. Symptoms Rachel experiences include daytime sleepiness, vivid dreaming, and mild cataplexy. Due to her narcolepsy, she is currently unable to drive. Rachel attributes a lot of her success in life to targeted amino acids, her loving support system, God, and taking a psychological and spiritual approach to narcolepsy, in addition to a holistic and medical approach.

Currently, Rachel is focusing on expanding her life through meeting people, learning new hobbies, and following her dreams. Her philosophy in life is that we all need to be our most authentic self to create a better world. We all have unique gifts to bring to the world through our most self-expressed being. Rachel believes in past lives, and that part of her experience with narcolepsy has been tied to past life trauma. To be successful with narcolepsy, she recommends a multi-layered approach, plus chewing gum has really helped her.

About the Poem

I wrote this poem in 2018 when I was struggling to stay awake and focus. It is about the frustration with trying really hard and being unsuccessful to think straight and do what you want to do.”

– Rachel Aubry

The title page for a poem by Rachel Aubrey: The Feeling of My Brain Melting. Hand-drawn image of a girl's face, looking tired with a scribble of colors over her head.

The Feeling of my Brain Melting by Rachel Aubry

What are the words to describe the feeling of my brain melting?
There might not be feeling centers in my brain
But I feel like I am a bobble head with TOO big a head weighing me down
Someone keeps flicking at my head to see what it will take till my head pops OFF!
My struggle is entertainment
Just laugh it up, one day I hope you LOSE your mind too
A pile of brick sitting attached to my neck
The world on my shoulders
Steam coming out of my ears
Tears dry up on my face
Words go in one ear and leak out the other
The thought process is not on the right track today
It went ahead and crashed
The choo-choo train needs more gas
It’s atop a hill teetering on the edge, another inch forward and it will slide down
I keep LOSING my grip
I am on the downhill track
All the traction I have made is lost
Losing ground
Losing a grip on reality
Without my brain as a working machine
My body CRUMBLES, legs fall asleep
My body aches
My brain: my engine, overheats
My head shakes trying to get it back in place
What do I do?
I am shutting down
Reverting inside is my default
FALL asleep
Maybe when I wake it will be alright

Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your poetry. You can find and connect with Rachel on Instagram at @rachelaubry1. Read more poems from this incredible community here.

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